Better but Nice Guys Still Finish Last

I had a really scathing post about oblivious people in the world, more specifically the ones kicking the back of my chair and playing the guitar next to me in the hallway of the JSB while everyone else is so obviously studying. I was all ready to publish it when I realized something sad but not surprising about it. Firstly, although I attempted not to, it ended up coming out in the same tone of derision and, as one savvy young blogger put it, highly "pretentious". Initially I hadn't intended to lace it with so much disdain. Nevertheless my frustration both with the behavior and my inability to think of an appropriate way to deal with it led to the spouting of much bile.

So it remains in my drafts and will most likely stay there until I make some revisions. I suppose what I was struggling with was a mixture of utter confusion and self-loathing. Confusion over the absolutely mind boggling oblivion of people who participate in offensive social practices such as: standing in the middle of a busy hallway having a banal conversations about hot tubs using words like "honeys" and "fly", kicking the back of another person's chair as your personal footrest, talking on your cellphone in an area where it's obvious the status quo is silence, not silencing said cellphone in class even though you've had your phone for years should know how to pull that off, listening to your headphones so loud that people ten feet away can hear Fall Out Boy and Dashboard Confessional as clearly as if they had somehow found your house despite the restraining order, or people who think it necessary to play a guitar of all things in the hallway because...well I can't even think of a good reason for that.

I'm sure I'm not the only person chafed by such things, but having companions in my acrimony doesn't make me any less insufferable. I understand that some of my thoughts border on anti-social, and it does cause me a certain amount of introspection. I'd like to approach it with tact and aplomb but have yet to devise an acceptable plan of attack.

Years ago a pair of young ladies visited my home and when then sat down on the couch they folded their soiled shoes up on the upholstery. What is to be said in such a situation? How can I say anything without sounding like a disappointed parent, "Could you take take your shoes off if you're going to have your feet on the couch?" or "Would you mind not putting your shoes on the couch?" No matter how I thought to phrase it I couldn't find a way to say it without the sense of "hey, I don't know what in your upbringing has taught you that it's ok to do what you're doing but it's not" coming out. Eventually I tired of the mental exercise and just said, "Get your feet off the couch." They looked shocked and I suppose they were. The smile or laugh they were expecting never came and I followed it up with, "Seriously, shoes off or feet off." Not my finest moment.

If you walked into your bathroom and happened to step in a puddle of something, for urine turn to page 78 for water from the shower turn to page 63, how would you approach your roommate?

"Gee...hey fella, you know...um...so...in my family we kind of never peed on the floor. I know that some family's are different and that's totally cool but if it's OK with you can we go ahead and not pee on the floor?"

Even with this much deferral the main point is still "normal people don't pee on the floor".

"Um, could you please not talk in the movie? Thank you."

These behaviors are so embarrassing that it's even more embarrassing to mention them. That's why people usually don't say anything when someone is talking through a movie, or on their cellphone in church, or kicking their chair, or playing their guitar. Normal people feel it unnecessary to have to mention these things explicitly, but that is where these people get us. They know we won't say anything or no one has ever said anything so they don't, in fact, know how annoying they are. What is to be done? Nothing, lest in your quest for fair and equal treatment ye be branded as confrontational or a disruptor of the well crafted "Balance" we have established of those who pee on the floor and those who wash socks.